thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
