i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
