If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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