Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Your cock deserves a montage
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
