no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
