Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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