Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
