So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
