I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
