IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i think im in europe. pls send help
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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