And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize