i think my mom watched the whole time
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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