she was so not down for the gang bang
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
