Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
