btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
