also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
