Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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