i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
