Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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