Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
