After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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