Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize