Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
bring money and cleavage
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
