mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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