; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
