Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
