Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
His hands were made for my vagina.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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