Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
pop tarts are not kleenex
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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