That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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