Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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