Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
