On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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