take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
