she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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