ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
