im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
