Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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