my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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