real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
