I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
