Yo dont text me then not text me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
