Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
