I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize