Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
