Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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