Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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