I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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