Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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