I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize