Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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