I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
