i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
