I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
