when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize