He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
