This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
