no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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