I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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