I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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