I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
