I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
